I lately think of the value that my life itself has or does not have. I also think about people who managed to touch me beyond my body, how they came close to me and I will not be able to erase that ever. Series of these posts are the appreciation for my friends and family, or friends who became family - the ones who have lifted me spiritually, mentally, emotionally or otherwise. It's about contemplating the value of life and how grateful we all should be that universe allowed us to get to know each other. It is a way of saying Thank You - thank you that you exist, that you allow me to exist in one or the other part of your life, thank you for your smile and conversation, thank you for teaching me how to be a better person. This is the way of saying I Love You.
There are people in your life that you know you will never forget – not only because you hope that you will have them by your side until the day you die, but also because of the impact that they had on you and your persona.
I met Zack at CSM as one of my course-mates and as far as I can remember we did not become friends straight away. He was very open for new friendships (because this is just the way he is – always sweet and cheerful and so so fun to be around), and I was being myself – the one who is very skeptical towards people and only hangs out with very specific ones.
My first year at CSM was really tough for many reasons (especially personal ones), and surprisingly I was quite open about it to some of the people with whom I study, and one of them happened to be Zack.
I don’t really know how he made it is possible to feel so safe and relaxed while talking to him, but he did, and to be completely honest, I think it happened when he told me that his star-sign is a Scorpio, because, let’s be honest in here – who could not love some positive Scorpio energy? (especially when this someone is a Cancer), lol.
All in all, we just clicked – he believes in same things that I believe in – zodiacs and tarot cards, and a need for a better future, and the impact that education holds when it comes to that, he believes in human liberation and always studies more about it on his own, he has the most attractive American accent that you could ever imagine, and is very very bright, he carries himself with this endless precision and extremely high standards for everything that he does, he is curious and very friendly, he definitely is NOT A METAPHOR, and is one of the most loving people I have ever encountered in my life. Zack is always there when one needs him and he makes others feel safe, he is a type of a person that nobody would like to lose – he is a fatalistic and unforgettable.
In a less than two years Zack taught me so many things about humanity. Sometimes I catch myself looking at people and all of this intellect, or bravery, or love, or strength, you name it, that they possess, and I think that they know that about themselves, but apparently, (and Zack is the case as well) they don’t. You see, Zack is always very self-conscious about his academical or overall capabilities, but when we talk I find myself learning – he always teaches me new things: about articles that he read, or exhibitions that he knows about, or LGBTQ+ issues, or artists that I have never heard about, or racial issues, whatever, endless lists. I always try to tell him – YOU ARE SMART, YOU ARE INTELLIGENT, YOU ARE SOMEBODY WHO MAKES AN IMPACT, YOU ARE SO IMPORTANT AND YOU HAVE SUCH A BRIGHT FUTURE IN FRONT OF YOU.
I have learned many things about people through him and from him: how people can be altruistic and how they can love their homeland that much, how some struggles are invisible and also how to forgive, how it is better not to be petty and how life is always rewarding when one believe in oneself, but also, how hard it is to believe in oneself sometimes, Zack taught me what fear is and how to look for solutions to beat that, and how important it is to support others, but most importantly, he taught me how it feels when you are cared about.
I remember this day which was not really worth remembering, because I was just working and was heading home after, but on my way home I found these messages on my phone and it literally melted my heart. And I feel so emotional now while I write this, because I don't think that I've ever said Thank You.
I love you, Zack, and I am so grateful that you entered my life, you are a friend that everybody deserves, but most of the time struggles a lifetime to get.