when a dude tells you that he (quote no1) ‘would only marry a 'fresh girl’ you either think 2 things: some of the girls he has dated don’t really have showering habits, or (???)
everything become way more clear when he adds (quote no2) ‘you know what i mean, like a virgin girl’, so the second thing you think for yourself is literally ‘wow you are a douche BIG TIME’
and if you think that things cannot get worse, it actually gets WAY WORSE, because he explicitly tells you further how he (quote no3) ‘wouldn’t marry current girlfriend, because she has had sex (with him) before marriage’.
yes, this is the reality.
i straight away get annoyed and am like – EXCUSE ME? he notices, tries to make it into a joke - it’s too late, i already know that i am going to write about it, i also tell him how this type of terminology is not acceptable and it is extremely inappropriate, as well as, how this type of language objectifies all women and that this is just disgusting. he claims it is acceptable in his culture, he says that in islam it is normal to think that way, and that he didn’t mean it to be that deep. (islam is a completely different topic, but (just as a side note) i have never heard this religion being encouraging towards something which degrades others whatsoever).
is there a point to continue this type of conversation? not with him. at least not now: i don't even know how i would start this type of 'discussion'.
I talk about this with other women though, some of them laugh, some of them say that it is better just not to pay any attention and move on, some even agree to him, etc.
i am confused – am i (or any other girl is) a package full of strawberries which can become ‘not that fresh no more’? or am i a person: with character and beliefs, and opinions, and feelings, and personal history, and experiences that shaped me, somebody who is a PERSON? or still more like a package of strawberries? and so fucking what if i had 5, 25 or 55 sexual partners in my lifetime, how do i become any less because of that?
RULE NO 1 – DO NOT FUCK A GUY WITH AN IDEOLOGY LIKE THAT, NOT EVEN WHEN YOU ARE SUPER HORNY AND DRUNK, EVEN IF YOU ARE A GAY MAN AND IT WILL NOT MAKE YOU ‘NOT FRESH’ NO MORE, (BECAUSE DAMN, SURPRISINGLY, IT APPLIES JUST TO WOMEN) DO NOT FUCK A GUY LIKE THAT, I AM REPEATING IT TO YOU – DO NOT FUCK A GUY LIKE THAT.
RULE NO 2 – EDUCATE AND DISCUSS, AND EVEN IF IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO CHANGE IT, JUST LET THEM KNOW, THAT NO MATTER WHAT CULTURE, NO MATTER WHAT RELIGION, NO MATTER WHAT: NO PERSON SHOULD BE COMPARED TO A FUCKING ‘FRESHNESS’.
RULE NO 3 – DO NOT EVER LISTEN TO ANYBODY WHO THINKS THAT THEY ARE ENTITLED TO TELL YOU WHO YOU SHOULD OR SHOULD NOT FUCK, FUCK WHOEVER YOU WANT OKAY, THIS IS YOUR BODY, IT BELONGS TO YOU, YOU MAKE THE RULES, YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR ITS SAFETY AND HEALTH SAME AS FOR ITS PLEASURE AND YOU DO YOU OKAY. (aka - ignore rule number one, YOU DO YOU, BOO)
all i wanted to say is that it’s just a lack of education (in my opinion), everybody is entitled to their own viewpoint, however, it is never okay to dehumanize somebody, because of their sexual choices, furthermore, i want to remind you all about this beautiful quote: ‘if you consider a woman less pure after you touched her, maybe you should have a look at your hands’ – and it’s not only about women, (i talked mainly about females, because this exact example was about them.) all in all, let’s all be free and make choices deliberately but freely, without any regrets (or with them if we want to) and never ever take things too seriously, world is too big to explore, let’s not get stuck onto something which is so outdated and controlling, let’s smash patriarchy and let’s own our bodies and let’s pray that people who think the way this guy does, will find freedom too and will have a lovely marriage with somebody who has lots of experience in loving ;)
DON'T KNOW THE AUTHOR AND IF THEY SUE ME I LOSE, BUT SUPER RELEVANT, SO I AM SHARING